Don't get me wrong.
I'm a huge romantic.
But will the REAL love please stand up?
This is how I see it. These rituals can become void of meaning in a society that trains us to:
Count on outward affirmations to know our wholeness
Attach our selves to ideas of what love is
Too often people confuse their love for a false sense of wholeness they derive from being in relationship.
In both scenario's, wholeness is contingent upon someone else's actions and our attachment to our ideas about love brings us up short. You canít place responsibility for your happiness on another person. Well, you can, but you will never really be happy.
What is attachment?
According to Anthony DeMello, it's "an emotional state of clinging caused by the belief that without some particular thing or some person you cannot be happy."
What do I mean by real love, then?
I once read, the purpose of relationship is not to have another person complete you; but to have another with whom you might share your completeness.
To accept yourself as you are. To care for yourself in a manner that ensures you live your values. To know the joy* that comes from following your bliss and staying connected to self and your higher power (Spirit, universe, God, Goddess). To naturally radiate out the purest intentions of goodness to any and all beings. To stand in the fire with another in the midst of challenges and remember the greater purpose that brought you together. To not pass judgment on others and instead trust in the best being revealed. To peel away the illusion of who you think someone is, your attachment to ideas and let the truth of what is be.
*JOY is a state of being, not a feeling.